A man who identified himself on Facebook as Chukwuma Phil Ugwa, sarcastically narrated his bittersweet experience on work after NYSC. His story starts from his initial job hunting, salary/ work expectations etc…read on!
“So my first interview I went after youth service was in a company like that. I don’t even know what they do, they just needed an accountant, and I applied. (I wish I never applied).
So interview process started oo, and after each interview they will fix another date for the next interview. So I was coming almost every 2 days for one interview or the other. At some point people started seeing me as if I am working there because of my everyday come come.
First of all, thunder will help me fire who ever posted that interview link to me. And also fire all the people that interviewed me. And also fire me that was mumu, wasting my time to be going to useless company almost every day.
After spending almost 1 month of interview process, spending money from Lekki to Ikeja everyday. I spent atleast N1,500 every day going to that nonsense office. I calculated the total money I spent in the 1 month of going and coming, it was about N24,000.
I say no problem, Shebi they will give me the job and my salary will cover the transportation cost I have already incurred. After all I am a graduate, accounting graduate for that matter. No be small course I read. I expect nothing less than N100,000 for a start.
Now they finish interview process and give me job. I say thank God I have blow. Lagos is the right place for me to be. I collect job and started working with them. I didn’t even ask them how much. Mumu me was just working like someone that does not have sense.
They will give me work, I will do. They will send me message I will go. I was a good boy aswearogad. I was doing all this things because I know month end I will collect big money and flex.
I even borrowed money from my friends to buy new shirts and suits as per accountant wey I be na. Mumu accountant. I borrow about N70,000 to change wardrobe. Everywhere was shine shine. I was looking very neat. Fine boy. Nonsense.
All my friends and family knew I got a job and were already booking my salary because I told them my salary may reach N200,000 the way I am seeing it. (no be only N200,000. Your head no correct).
It was 31st of August oo, and i was very happy that salary day have reach. Me that have already promise people money everywhere. Aswear craze is worrying me. I will use my hand and put myself into trouble.
So they didn’t pay salary that day, but decided to pay over the weekend because it was Friday already.
Early Saturday morning the HR called me to send my account number they want to send me salary. I say thank God, it’s about time. Stuff is about to go down.
Before I forget, I forgot to tell thunder to specially fire the HR. Thunder please add HR to your list of firerables. Don’t forget dear thunder. Infact leave every other persons and face the HR very well.
By 11am Saturday morning, I received 2 credit alerts. I say this one they couldn’t send the money once, is like it’s too big for 1 transfer they have to split it into two.
When I open message to read what they wrote in alert, I saw what will make thunder start its work by tomorrow.
The first alert was N8,200, then the second, the second one was N11,800. Total N20,000
I say ah ah, what is going on here. Are they missing 1 zero at the back of the N20,000? Maybe is error that they do.
I say maybe one of my friends mistakenly paid 20k into my account. I started calling all my friends to ask “Baba you pay money into my account?”. All my friends were saying “where I was see 20k wey I go mistake pay for your account? You dey mad ni? Me wey dey wait for your salary make you flex us”. Me I said in my mind that this ones no even know wetin dey happen.
So I went to online banking to check name of the person that send that money to me, and found out that it was the company I am working that sent it. Ah ah. That time my eye don dey clear small small.
Immediately, I call HR and told her that I have received the transportation allowance, I am waiting for the full salary.
HR told me that’s my full salary I received, that my salary is N20,000 for a start. That after 6 months of probation period they will increase it to N25,000. That I will be growing small small. It’s a process.
HR, shey you wan dey whyne me ni? Who told you that I want to grow small small? Are you mad? If I want to grow small small won’t I go and do bus conductor work in Lagos? Is something wrong with you and your MD? Are you people trying to play with my destiny? God will not allow you. I know the God I serve. Process will kee you there.
Immediately I started singing this song. “God of vengeance, God of vengeance, those that say they can not live to see me, make it a lie, I say those that say they can not live to see me Baba make it a lie.
OK. No problem. I come work the next Monday. I say I will not wear suit to work again that this work is not work for wearing suit. They don’t deserve my suit. And again I have to do the suit small small so that I can be able to sell it anytime to refund the people I borrow money to buy it. Because work I was hoping to use and hammer have cast.
As I was sitting, one song was playing in my head. Awka don cast, Ogwu don cast, Lagos don cast, my work don cast. Bosalin thank you for that song. It came at the right time.
So HR came to me and ask me “Chukwuma how was your weekend”. I told her I didn’t go weekend, I slept in the office, and I might be sleeping in this office till another month end. Better just sack me. No need.
Now I started working my new week work. Anywhere I see N31,000, I will write N13,000. Your account will never balance. Error of omission will full it. My plan is to scatter your account and go. Your financial report will be nonsense by month end. You will see. I am doing 20k job for you from now. I am IT student now. I am no longer a graduate. I have return my accounting certificate to Unizik.
HR you think I am laughing, better sack me from this work next week. Sack me.
For the first time in my life I was praying for me to be sacked from work.
HR no gree sack me. I no gree sack myself. Work I usually do within one day, I now use one week to do it. I went and downloaded plenty movies online with the company internet. Anytime I come to office, I start watching movies. HR you must sack me.
HR did not even answer me. In her mind Shebi you dey find work, you don see work. You must work. You never see anything.
HR I don’t want to work again please pursue me. Abeg.
When I finally left the work was when I hear that my Oga that is supervising me salary is N18,500. Ah ah, Oga my salary is bigger that your own, what’s happening with this company. Oga told me “no loud am, HR salary is N15,200”. Oga told me that I am the highest paid in the company. I should be thanking God.
Oga your head is not correct. How can I be the highest paid in a company and my salary is 20k? Something must be wrong somewhere. How do they even pay for this office building in Ikeja, Lagos?
Nna that was how I carry my load and left. But I made sure I left with the company laptop. I can’t leave it for them. They are useless people. Atleast it will cover my expenses that I made because of them.
See never you call me in your life again for interview. Yes I am talking to you HR, after all my salary is bigger than your own. I have more level. And you that is my Oga, if not that you were nice to me in my first month of working, I would have sent thunder to you this week.
Mad people.
The end….@chukwumacfr”
See also: Lil Frosh of Davido’s DMW Records Beats up Girlfriend to Pulp
