If you’re a Chelsea fan and you’re reading this, please, find a comfortable place to sit. Maybe grab a glass of water or something stronger, like the Chelsea Dry Gin, because the bridge holding up the “Pride of London” is falling down.
At this point, playing Chelsea is like hustling for a bus with a flat tyre – you’re going nowhere!
At this point, I remember the old clip of a disappointed Chelsea fan complaining to a reporter about how the players could have played. He was so distraught that at a time, he fell to the ground and started wailing and trashing both his hands and legs like a toddler
The Brighton Masterclass
Let’s talk about that Brighton game. You know things are bad when the Seagulls fly into Stamford Bridge and treat it like their own backyard. Chelsea fans were out there praying for a miracle, but what they got was a 90-minute tutorial on how to run around a pitch without actually doing anything.
I’ve seen more coordination in a secondary school “inter-house sports” march-past than what Chelsea showed us. Brighton was out there playing champagne football, while Chelsea players looked like they were still trying to figure out which direction the goal was.
The Streak
Honestly, calling it a “streak” is disrespectful to actual streaks. This is a downward spiral. This is a free fall without a parachute.
Loss after loss: It’s getting hard to keep track. At this point, even the ball boys are starting to look like they could provide more offensive threat.
The Billion-Pound Squad: Boehly spent over a billion pounds to build a team that currently has the same goal-scoring threat as a group of retirement home residents. You spent ₦1 trillion just to be a “step-up” for teams fighting relegation? The math is not mathing at all!
I really feel for the Chelsea fans from Lagos to London. You can’t even wear your jersey to the viewing center anymore without hearing “Up Brighton!”. It even gets worse when you hear it from an Arsenal fan who hasn’t won a trophy since the invention of the wheel.
The silence in the Chelsea WhatsApp groups is deafening. Usually, it’s “Blue is the color,” but lately, the only color Chelsea fans are seeing is red (on the scoreboard) and black (the mood of their bank accounts after betting on a “straight win”).
Chelsea can be likened to a social experiment to see how much pain fans can endure before they switch to supporting Enyimba FC.
Chelsea fans, how are we feeling? Are we still trusting the process?
