Relationship dynamics have changed over the years. If we are old enough, or if we have ever watched reruns of old tv family situation comedies (e.g., Leave it to Beaver, Father Knows Best, Happy Days), then we have an idea of male-female relationship dynamics.
The women stayed at home, cooked and cleaned, and kept the home a comfortable and pleasing place, and the men went to work to support the family. The man made all of the important decisions, and the woman may have voiced her opinion respectfully but ultimately complied.
If there were teenagers in the household, they may have dated, but there were pretty strict rules regarding parental approval, where they went, and their curfew hours. And those teens went to normal places, especially the local soda shop and other “healthy” hangouts.
Fast Forward to 2023
How things have changed. Today, we have every type of relationship that can be imagined.
- We have partners living together without being married
- We have partners engaged in online relationships through dating apps. Just check Hily app and see how many people actually date online without meeting face-to-face for a long time because they are physically so far apart.
- We have partners of various gender identities who live together and get married as well.
- We have relationships that are very casual but with sexual benefits.
- And, of course, we have traditional marriages.
Traits of a Healthy Relationship
So, given all these relationship types, can we define what constitutes a healthy one that will apply to all of them?
The short answer is yes, we can.
Some traits of a healthy relationship have not changed – trust, communication, respect, support, honesty, affection, and, today, equality. Another must also be added – individuality.
Trust and Honesty
These really go together. Only by being honest with each other is trust developed in a relationship. When both partners tell the truth to each other, trust builds. But let some lies creep in, and trust can be destroyed quickly. It is only recovered over time.
Communication
Both partners must be willing to be open in their communication. If there are issues, they must be addressed, discussed, and resolved, usually via compromise. Keeping issues inside and allowing them to fester will lead to frustration, anger, and outbursts. None of these things is healthy.
Respect
Both partners must show regard for the rights, wishes, and feelings of the other, even if they do not fully jibe with theirs. A simple example is when partners have different religious affiliations which require different observances. It’s important that they honor those observances. Or suppose one partner works from home and needs uninterrupted time – this must be honored by the other partner.
Affection
People show affection in different ways. It’s important that partners understand how each other wants to give and receive affection. Sometimes it’s physical, of course, but it may also include such things as little surprise gifts, texts or calls during the day, or just snuggling together while watching a movie on TV.
Equality
The concept of equality between two partners is relatively recent and is especially true for women who have played a somewhat subservient role in the past. Equality in a relationship means that both take an equal role in decision-making, little or large, in financial matters, etc. Given the preponderance of two-income households these days, this is only right. And equality transfers to the assumption of household duties too.
Individuality
This ties in a bit with respect, but it goes further. Each person in a relationship is an individual. They had lives before they hooked up; they had and still do have hobbies and outside interests; and they both have friends they like to socialize with. It’s important that each person pursue their individual interests and friendships independently of the other.
These Seven…
Healthy relationships in 2023 are a combination of traditional characteristics, such as honesty, trust, communication, respect, and affection. But given the evolution of relationship types, equality and individuality must be added to this list.
You can use this as a checklist of sorts to analyze and evaluate your own relationship. You may find some things that you and your partner should work on.
